Jack and the Mean-Stalk

Jack looked out his bedroom window. He could barely distinguish one shape from the next in the moon-less night, but he thought he saw the beanstalk off in the distance by the well. From the sounds of it, it was growing fast and big, but he couldn't be sure. Dare he wait till the morning light, or should he light a candle and go check it out?

His curiosity got the better of him. He felt around on his nightstand by his bed for a box of matches and his candle-holder. After lighting the candle, he found his pants and pulled them on. He didn't bother with shoes or a shirt. Maybe he should have.

The door opened quietly, and he tip-toed through the house and out the back-door. The grass was cold and crisp underfoot, but he barely noticed. Nor did he notice the cold on his bare shoulders, arms, chest and back. He was too busy staring.

The beanstalk was already taller than he was, which, at 6' was saying something. It was bigger around than the well a few feet away, and it was still going. Jack was amazed to hear it growing, above all else. He didn't realize his jaw had dropped open. Well, he didn't realize it at first. When the beanstalk shouted, "Hey, do you mind not staring?" he shut his mouth right away, but then he was too shocked to hear a beanstalk shouting at him that he was rooted to the spot, and all he could do was stare. That was when the beanstalk really got angry.

Jack felt the earth beneath him move; the next thing he knew, he was flying through the air, landing with a thud. The beanstalk's root had come out of the ground and was coming after him again. Jack scrambled to his feet, only to be told, "Hey, Shirtless, maybe you should get dressed before you come gawking!"

That was it. Jack wasn't gonna take that anymore! "Hey Stalky, why don't you pick on someone your own size?" He turned and ran back to his house. First thing in the morning, he was taking an axe to that beanstalk and pretending he hadn't dreamed of climbing it to the clouds.